Rejection from parents is often at the root of lack of intimacy with others. If you are experiencing some storms in your relationships, it could be coming from within you. It could also be about the other person’s issues with rejection, but you need to check out your own “roots” that might be adding to the problem.
Rooting out destructive messages that may be causing some reactive responses in your relationships with others is really important work for you to do. Parental rejection messages can cause you to feel badly about yourself and force you to go outside yourself to seek love. It can also force you to learn at an early age to find others to replace the lack of love you are experiencing in those first relationships with your parents. Years of doing this can condition you to depend on others to define your worth and value.
If you are feeling stormy within or in your relationships, it may be that you have some roots of rejection that are filtering the ability to give or receive love. You can go back and sort through your own roots and ask yourself if you were given messages that felt rejecting of you as a child. It might even be that you had to be perfect or took on a role for the family that was not really you or was above your age capability. If you feel that was communicated to you in any way by your parents or other authority figures, root it out and replace it with a truth that you know about yourself.
You will need to recondition old “voices” from the past with new affirmations that you know to be true based on your reality. Affirm that you are not perfect, but note the good qualities you do have. If you are out of balance even in your good qualities, check to make sure that is not a message that was communicated to you in order to bring honor to the family. It may be that you are overly responsible and feel good that you are, but it is actually wearing you out. That means you are out of balance and need to adjust what is your responsibility and what is not.
Calming some of the inner storm stemming from roots of rejection will help you feel more peaceful in your outer world and especially in your closest relationships. You can begin to live more freely in the real you without the rejecting messages from within and not accept any coming from external sources.
Blessings,
Susan
Thursday, February 12, 2009
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