I own a string of pearls that was given to me by my husband. I have quite a bit of jewelry, but this necklace is very special to me for a couple of reasons. My husband purchased it while he was serving one year in the army in Viet Nam. That was a difficult year of separation for us and I have always treasured the memory this string of jewels provides. Another reason for it being very prized by me is its monetary and symbolic worth.
I believe a pearl symbolizes something that comes from pain. A pearl is developed in nature from an irritant within a mollusk. The oyster or other ocean shellfish coats the irritant with a beautiful covering over the course of several years. Therefore, a pearl is born and created at a great price over a considerable period of time.
Pearls of wisdom are like that for me. They have been formed at a great price and come from the suffering I have experienced or from the suffering of others. I gained many of my pearls of wisdom from the life and words of Jesus who suffered a lot. I also have gained a lot of my wisdom from the experiences of my clients as they share their personal agony. My own suffering has afforded me familiarity with painful things fashioned at a great price as well. When I use these “pearls”, I have learned to use them wisely.
There is a verse in the Bible that speaks of not throwing your “pearls” before swine (Matthew 7:6). A pearl in ancient times was greatly valued. I am interested in what it means “not to give” your valuable gems of wisdom or what you have learned in a sacred way, to those who cannot hear those gems. The Bible says they may turn it around against you, trample it under their feet, and tear you to pieces (Matthew 7:6).
I have some ideas on what my view of what it means to not throw away pearls of great cost, but I would appreciate a sharing of your views on this one before I give my interpretation.
Please feel free to share an anecdote, example or your opinion.
Blessings,
Susan
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Pearls, I myself have always treasured diamonds which also make a long transformation, but I guess the coal really feels no pain. But a diamond sure is strong. My husband did give me a black pearl a few years ago for Christmas after he walked out on me to "dance with the devil" and it was in honor of my son Charlie.
ReplyDeleteTo throw ones pearls before swine to me would mean to mistreat the people in our lives that are our pearls. Such as my husband who has trampled over me and his own children for his own desires. I would never have allowed this had I known what I know today. My pearls were my husband and my children, and my extended family, and the family centered around home. I and my children were his pearls. He just could not nor can he see just how lucky he was.
It could also mean the gift of wisdom that was given to me by God, yet I was not allowed to understand or trust my own judgement. So seeing that I didn't trust my own judgement the swine trampled all over the pearls (the input) that Jesus was giving me. So, I am now in a postion, I have no one to lean on or trust but Jesus.
Now, over all these years have I finally been transformed into one of Jesus' pearls? Does he have me where he wants me, just as my husband, my mother, my daughter, and my extended family? I am invisible to all but him.
Now that I'm an adult (most of the time), I'll take credit for having some "pearls". My mother doesn't seem to see it the same way. My comments here do not in any way suggest that my mother is literally a "swine".
ReplyDeleteBut, regarding offering pearls of wisdom, our relationship fits quite well into that passage from Matthew (read the whole chapter for a better understanding). Mother asks, I offer my pearls and she almost never accepts them. She then does whatever she intended in the first place. I wonder - is that because she doesn't "hear" the pearls or because she doesn't value the messenger (ME)?
How wise our Lord is to give this analogy: "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Like everything in God's Word, there are many levels that this can apply: spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. In the context of the scripture and the spiritual aspect, God is referring to His Gospel--the greatest pearl of all. And although God has called us to put out the Gospel to others, we are not responsible for others' response. I've never thought about it before, but this may be the greatest example of non-codependent behavior ever! It's a passage about when to say "no" to others to ultimately protect ourselves. Think about it: The most important job on the planet earth (sharing the Gospel and God's love), and God does not make us responsible to make other people "get it!" We're called to "put it out there," but to shake it off and move on if others don't accept us our our message lest it hurt us in the process of trying to make others "get it." And the "it" of the "get it" can apply to the physical, mental and emotional realm as well as to the spiritual aspect.
ReplyDeleteAnd just like Prattler said in the previous comment about not wanting to call her mother a "swine," the swine that the passage refers to is not about judging others as bad people but rather to categorize them as people who have no discernment as to the value of what is being offered to them. It's interesting though that we categorically tend to think of swine as "everybody else" or "bad people," but haven't we've all been there at some point or another -- unable to discern the value of what is in front of us? I'm guilty. I think that projecting ourselves as sometimes also being part of the swine lineup gives us more compassion for the "swine" or undiscerning people in our lives. Helps us to love them where they're at and still move on.
But what about those pearls that I'm not supposed to offer to those who are not discerning as to the value? My pearls in my life now are my time, energy, heart, opportunities, abilities and wisdom gained from the difficult rock-hard places I've been and the difficult things I've gone through. God has taken painful things in my life--(the sand), put it in the unrefined oyster shell--(me) and produced something beautiful in my heart --(the pearls). These things are not to be wasted as they ultimately belong to God.
On a practical level, I had an example of this just yesterday. I used to date a very handsome, smart, fun, successful, & romantic Christian man who called me again this weekend; however, I instinctively knew that what he wanted was part of me, not all of me. But what I figured out was that the real treasure is all of the pearls in my heart--worth more than he truly discerns. And I said no. It was powerful, and it was freeing for me. I'm protecting the pearls in my heart.
A pearl, as you have stated, was brought into existence after a period of time suffering through constant pain and irritation. The bigger and best pearls are achived over a long time and signification suffering. God burns our impurities out of us with suffering and pain and replaces the suffering and pain with Jewels of knowledge.
ReplyDeleteMany times we want to show off our jewels that god has bestoyed upon us and we look for someone that we know to share the beauty of our pearls. Often the people we share our pearls with are in situations similiar to the situation we were in when we began to suffer. The people that we wish to share with are being tempted by demons, just as we were when our suffering began. Jesus cast many demons out of a man and they entered into a herd of swine. Many believers were certain that all swine were unclean and therefore a common place for demons. If you cast a pearl of wisdom bestowed on you by the grace and goodness of God to a swine they would likely either pay no heed or understand it as the truth and become agitated and attack. Gods gifts are bestoyed for a time and a reason. God warns us not to waste them by casting them before the folks that are not ready to accept them.
Susan, that is a beautiful story, thank you for sharing that.
ReplyDeletePearls... most people with little or no recovery aren't looking for pearls, more like "pills" (addictions) to numb out on, or "kibbles" of some kind of junk nurturing or attention. Real pearls are wasted on people who don't get the simple ones that don't cost so much that are out there for all, like "easy does it" or "turn it over" ... sometimes, you can give a kibble instead of a pearl and the person you give it to, still values it. It might be listening to them work out a problem, and then appreciating that you were there for them. Later, when you DO give a pearl, it will be one you might be able to select JUST for them. I had a work friend who was in a relationship for about 12 years that was not healthy and getting worse... but she never talked much about that, she endlessly complained about her boss instead. I'd listen and try to offer ideas here and there, but they never seemed to be too helpful. One day, she said something about the boyfriend that sounded an awful lot like the boss, THEN I got it, and very gently asked her, hey... does that sound like... and she GOT it! A short time later, she took a "time out" from that relationship and within a couple weeks, decided to leave it altogether. A year or so later, she met someone else much better for her and they are married today, it might not be "perfect" but at least I don't have to listen to all the complaining! I think in that case, it took time to figure out what kind of pearl was appropriate for the situation, as well as letting her figure out a lot of it on her own.
Lisa
Thanks for the insightful sharing in your posts. I feel that there is much that is personal in the idea of sharing pearls of wisdom. It also appears there are two sides to this as well. On the one hand, we value our pearls because they were often gained through pain or at great price and therefore, we do not want to throw them away where they will be trampled on or not valued. On the other hand, we need to be sensitive to the other person we may want to give them to so we do not throw them out before that person is ready to receive. In both of these cases, boundaries apply. It is good to use pearls of wisdom appropriately and with the use of good boundaries and sensitivity to others' boundaries.
ReplyDelete