The topic this week is about not hiding your true self and loving all parts of you. Part of the ability to be able to do that requires awareness of self and identity. Many people tell me in the course of therapy that they have no idea who they really are and what their identity is all about. To me, this is very sad and I can even think of a time when that was the case for me.
The idea of discovering your true identity and finding your authentic self is the best course you can set for yourself. Living up to someone else’s reality of who you need to be or living with a mask on that you created because you fear not being accepted as you are or thinking that a false self is a better person than the real you, is an insidious way to live. It makes no sense.
Begin to think about the real you and how far away from that person you are and what it would take to allow the freedom to be authentic. It is a journey that is not just about moving from where you are now to a new place or point on a line. It has aspects that are woven among the three parts of your being which are physical, emotional, and spiritual. True knowing of your self and identity will require knowing how you are known by your Creator which in turn means you must know the Creator of your being. You are more than a bunch of cells with a unique DNA. You have a spiritual being that connects to the physical world and your feelings and emotions.
As you consider your own identity, try to focus on the fact that you have inherent worth, are deeply lovable and are loved by God. If you can accept and affirm yourself in that paradigm, you can begin to accept yourself as you are and get grounded in your reality. If you have lived in the shadow of someone else’s reality of you, it will feel strange to give yourself permission to begin to live in your own reality and the things that matter to you.
It is possible that you are living in some self deception. Regardless of denial or self deceptions, you still need to start with things that matter to you and the way you see life. You can work on distortions with the help of God and other wise counsel. Be committed to stay true to your view of those things that are important to you.
It matters who you are and how you feel. It matters what you think about things. Ask yourself these questions: How do I feel about _____________? What am I feeling right now? Discover your likes and dislikes. Meet with God and ask for truth about yourself. There is no substitute for prayer and seeking help to discover these core issues of self. Read books that talk about identity and self awareness. Find a group or a good therapist that will help guide you into the process of unmasking or coming out of hiding. Many times people go into hiding to protect themselves from past trauma and/or traumatic situations and they don’t come out without professional help.
Reply today with responses that talk about identity and ways you have either worked through some of these things to find your true self or post questions you might have about the process. Just generate some messaging that explores this whole issue of how we gain self awareness and learn to stay grounded and free to be our authentic self.
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Who Am I?
ReplyDeleteI was born a daughter; a sister - a twin.
As I grew up, I became a star athlete and a great student. I learned how to be a faithful friend. After college, I became a wife, then a teacher, then a mom. I am now all of these things, plus a student, a coach, and a dozen other adjectives. I have been on this journey the past couple of years to discover my true identity and find my authentic self.
Are all of those descriptions of "me" someone else's reality of who they think I need to be, or are they my own reality - the authenitic ME? Can't they be a bit of both?
I do know who I am. I know I am a daughter of the King; a child of God; adopted into His family ... bla bla bla. I could go on and on, but there is a difference between HEAD KNOWING and HEART KNOWING ... and although my head knows who I am, I wonder if my heart has been able to grasp the whole idea.
I have a feeling if my head and heart were fully connected when it comes to my authentic self, them maybe I wouldn't struggle with accepting the flawed areas that I try so hard to change.
I have reached a point in my life where I really like the woman I have become. With all my foibles, many poor choices and irrational decisions, God has shepherded me into a place of peace and contentment. A place where I can look at others, and know that they too are on an amazing journey - a journey that God has designed especially for them. He has shown me through all of my pain, to look at others through His eyes, accept them where they are at, and give them wise council from a woman who knows what it means to suffer much emotional sadness. I look in the mirror each day and I really like who I see. I have a sense of dignity about who I am and what God has, and continues to shape me into. I like the Mother I am, the friend I am and choices I make. I will no longer settle for a man who is so utterly broken, that he cannot see me through the eyes of God and love me for just being me. I will not be belittled when my children are not perfect, nor will I be told how I should think and what opinions I should have, or how I should dress.
ReplyDeleteI am elegant, classy and intelligent and the Master Planner continues to sculpt me with His perfect hand. I am designed to be a helper to those who struggle and a comforter and encourager to those who hurt or are weak - An example of love and compassion. I believe that in His perfect timing, God will add unto me, a companion for my heart yearns for this. Until that time, I will be content in Him, for His plans for me have been perfect from the very beginning. I am humbled to think that He loves me so much that He has paid so much attention to me and every moment of my life. I am thrilled and my cup is overflowing.....This is my prayer for all of you too, those I have had the honour to journey with, and those who I have not yet met....
Elizabeth Neff